Arg(on)

No, this entry actually has nothing to do with the element, Argon. I have no idea why "arg" always turns into "Argon" when I am frustrated. I don't really know how to gather my thoughts, and since I'm really bored at work (not much to do except for answering phones today), I figured I was due for an entry. So, I took an incomplete for a course and I cannot, for the LIFE of me, motivate myself to write this paper. By the time I get home it's 7pm and I'm totally exhausted, and braindead. The full-time working in an office/writing papers thing is draining, but I have no choice but to complete my thesis by August 3rd. Fortunately, I have found even more new material on how to eradicate human trafficking...and interesting (unpaid) jobs to work with people.

Which leads me to the next predicament...whether or not to stay in Boston. I would love the opportunity to finally (while relatively young) live in a city and life a free, single lifestyle. Since I'm too disgusted by most members of the opposite sex (too fat, not educated enough, balding, no passions in life), I figure that this single lifestyle will continue for a bit. Which is ideal, while still trying to decide where to live/what to ultimately do with my life. I figure I should still take the foreign service exam to keep my options open. And I had told Irene that IF I stay in the area, we should get a place. So, perhaps the best thing to do is: Sept-Dec, volunteer abroad. Dec-onward, have a job in Boston/pay my share of the rent. And, in a worst case scenario, I get a subletter (a mutual friend) who wants to move out of her house in Newton, for the few months I am abroad or in DC. Maybe living a whole year in DC is a better idea...I really need to figure this thing out. The first thing that NEEDS to be done, before actually tackling the application process, is this paper.

And I'm going to Maine from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, so I need to, need to, get work done tonight and tomorrow night after work. I know that it's just a mindblock, and if I were actually totally motivated, it would take me no more than 12-15 hours. I've never taken an incomplete (except for when I was deathly ill in Rochester), so I feel really lazy for having done so. Oh well. Getting the ball rolling is very, very important. Maine should actually be my incentive, but I know that I won't be done by then. And there's no point in bringing my computer up...it's better to just aim for coming back midday on Sunday, so that I can get it all done in one go. I do have the initial research...I just need to sit down and put it all together in a cohesive manner.

I know it's probably only hurting myself that I find most men disgusting or abhorrent. I can't really help it though...I've really been lucky and had good ones before, so the ones who I meet are often totally unappealing. Which means it's really not the time for it...until I'm in a more stable position where I feel like I won't be sacrificing too much by even being in a relationship (which is how I'd feel now, unless I'm head-over-heels in love).

Oh, there have been 2 lucky things to happen in the past 24 hours though:

6:09pm yesterday (not a palindrome...wow): hit a car in front of me at a stop sign, due to being totally exhausted. Fortunately, I was going 10mph and it was an SUV, so no damage was done to her car. Also, she wasn't the stereotypical Newton b***h, but, rather, a really nice woman who knew I was very apologetic. Thank God, no claim filed!

8:04am today: found my ring in the parking lot of the church I used to work at (and still park at). I'd actually prayed to find it (which I never do). I figure, I haven't worn a ring except for Mike's (and Chris', before that), and my finger feels totally naked without one now (even though it's on the right hand, of course). But, I was totally lucky to find it right there-- no one stole it or ran over it!

OK, back to the minimal amount of work I have left to do...