A bit of nostalgia...

It must be the age. Time of life, I mean. Nearly everyone I associate with (minimum age 23 and maximum age 33 or so) seems to be nostalgic for something. For me, it went from being nostalgic for the wee morning hours with J (2008 boyfriend) to all the good moments with M (especially things like Thanksgiving...I hope I don't forever hate Thanksgiving. The past few have been hard), to now, spending moments with my girlfriends. As I have (somewhat actively) been avoiding dating, this has allowed me to really cultivate my friendships with my girlfriends. I realized (somehow, mainly through watching chick flicks), that many of my friendships weren't as close as they had been in say, 2002 or 2003, when the majority of my time was spent with my friends, rather than a significant other. So, I've been nostalgic for those times. Perhaps since I haven't been in love for what seems so long (2 years? wow!), that my friendships and my own goals are on the forefront of my mind. This feels incredibly liberating...and I never realized just how hard it was for me to imagine myself without another.

I suppose the indication that I've become truly independent is the nature of my daydreams. As much as I contest being a Pisces, I really do spend ALL day fantasizing about the future, travels, and even what to eat for dinner (I often forget to have a real lunch--oops). But, the nature of the travels and future have been totally me-centric...writing by the lake, running large distances, hiking a mountain...ALONE. For as long as I can remember, all of these activities have been imagined alongside a partner (usually a thin 5'10"-6' blue-eyed one, I can't lie). So, nearly two years later, I have taken J's advice to "work on myself." I can't even really pinpoint when that happened, but now I'm entirely obsessed with it. I get frustrated with the notion of someone taking me away from my relationship with "me," by demanding my time. As a result of this, I have become incredibly selective with who I see (who has time with 85+ pages to write and a 40 hour job anyway??). So, I have eliminated all "toxic" people from my life.

As was mentioned on the great show, "How I Met Your Mother," nothing good happens after 2AM. Thankfully I remembered that on Saturday night, and did not let toxic personalities back in.... to my life, that is :P.